I don’t think I can sum up the feelings I experience when I look at the scene above. There is awe, respect, and humility. There is passion, and obsession. There is appreciation and utter gratitude, but parallel the deeply positively emotions runs a constant thread of loneliness.
It’s easy to feel small.
This city seems awash with possibilities, from dance clubs to day hikes to art museums, and while I feel I’m cracking the surface – I want more. So much more. I want to just wake up tomorrow and have my Denver life figured out, complete with best friends and ski houses and dinner clubs.
Life takes time, and I KNOW it will all turn out better than I ever could have envisioned. In the meantime, though, it would be really great if someone could just reassure me that indeed, I’m doing the rights things. That I’m taking advantage of all the proper possibilities, and not following paths that will lead me to a dead end, or worse – mediocrity.
I’ve always wanted to live my life like an explosion, and I do think Denver holds the fireworks of my future. On days like today, though, when I have no companions other than my music, my baby girl, and my amazing, reliable car, doubt creeps in around the things I so desperately want to come true, but fear never will.
Until then, whatever may be in the future, I’m trying to remember to just live in the moment, live in the here and now that matters the most. If there’s anything I know about myself, it’s that I can handle the future. So why not make today amazing?
Last night I was invited to a party at a super swanky apartment in Country Club, a neighborhood near Wash Park. The party was so grown up and fancy, I felt like I was pretending to be an adult all night.
Like any good food blogger would, I made sure to sample each and every item put out on the beautiful food table. I did quality control with some follow up tastings on mostly everything, too. :) The goat cheese and fig jam toasts were incredible, as were the butternut squash and ricotta bruschettas.
Oh MY do I love a homemade pie. Look at that lattice work!
I had a great time at the party, and it felt great to potentially expand my network even further. Lots of good conversations (and way too much wine!).
That night turned into a blur of bars and melodramas, so I was glad to wake up to a beautiful, sunshiney, and perfect clean slate. With an extra hour of sleep! [The sun setting at 4:51 today did not, however, make me very happy.]
Breakfast was quick and easy.
I piddled around for a bit while deciding what to do with the wide open day before me, and ultimately settled on another visit to Crown Hill Lake.
I’m a sucker for the view, the mile loop around the lake, and the exercise stations along the way!
I really challenged myself at the stations with mountain climbers, pushups, dips, step-ups, chin ups (8 today!!!), and sit ups, so hopefully I’ll be sore tomorrow!
I slammed this in the car on the way to a shopping center in Lakewood before grabbing lunch at Whole Foods.
This was really tasty, but next time I’ll leave off the huge amount of jalapenos. It was spicy! The kombucha helped cool me down.
When I finally got home, showered, and collapsed on the couch, I had one thing on my mind.
5280 is a local Denver/Colorado magazine that is full of good tips and tricks to navigating life a mile up, and I just couldn’t resist it when checking out of Whole Foods. It reminded me how much I want to try cross-country skiing at some point this season. I wanna get going with it!!!
Gemma joined me for the lazy afternoon.
I started to get antsy after a while, though, and decided to hit up a movie.
My menu tonight included salmon, which definitely contributed to my happiness.
And now I’m settled in for the evening and looking forward to a normal bedtime.
I think I needed the day alone. I needed to remember that I’m a lot of fun to hang out with, just me. I’ve been overdosing on social experiences recently, and it’s skewing my perspective of what is required to have fun.
I don’t need a ton of people, an excessive amount of alcohol, and a stamp on my hand to have fun. All I need is a healthy dose of positivity, a desire for adventure, and the ability to be present.
To the moment, my friends! Happy Sunday! xoxo